Welcome to my nearly daily introspection, musings, blog, and life's unfolding drama (a.k.a. my online diary) - RGO
April 12, 2025: Hello, how are you?
Are you happy? Busy? Even if you're not feeling okay or maybe joyful, don’t forget to pause, rest, recharge and find true joy.
It’s been months since my last post. Life has been hectic, and it’s only getting busier as the school year is nearing its end. I have so much to prepare, for graduation, my classes, our department… and honestly, I’m not quite ready. But at least I’ve started.
Hayzzz, why is it so hard to earn money? (hehe) But despite the challenges, I’m genuinely happy being with my students and teaching again. I praise God for every blessing He continues to give. I’ll update again soon. Please pray for me.
January 19, 2025: Hi hi! Just a quick update. I'm back in the Philippines! It's already been a week since I returned. The second semester has started, and things are getting busy again. Actually, I'm in the office right now, preparing my lessons for the week. Hopefully, I can finish everything soon so I can focus on updating my research.
January 6, 2025: Happy New Year to you!
How was your New Year celebration? Mine was great! Even though my family wasn’t with me during New Year’s Eve, I still had a wonderful time because I know they are doing well, and I was happy to celebrate with friends. Today marks the start of work, but since I’m not back in the Philippines yet, I’m working remotely. I haven’t finished all my course syllabi just yet, so far, I’ve only completed the Foodservice Practicum and the MOA. Anyway, I need to get back to work now. See you again next time! Once again, Happy New Year! I hope and pray that this year brings you more happiness, a deeper relationship with God, and peace in your heart.
December 25, 2024: Happy Holidays friends! Only 6 more days before 2024 ends, and I find myself feeling a mix of emotions. A part of me is excited, but there’s also fear, fear that 2025 might not live up to this year, or worse, might feel like a personal "hell" again. I’m not ready for this year to end because I love 2024. It has been a year of so much fun, incredible experiences, and meaningful growth. I’ve matured a lot in life this year, and for that, I’m deeply grateful.
Towards the end of the year, life took an unexpected turn. Returning to AUP to continue working, not just as a teacher but now as the chair of the Nutrition and Dietetics department, was something I didn’t foresee. Yet, I thank God for this opportunity to share my skills, work with young people, and form connections that have quickly grown close to my heart. It feels like I’ve gained more siblings to look after, and I cherish these bonds deeply.
As I reflect, my heart overflows with gratitude. I thank God for everything He has done for me this year, for all the blessings, the experiences, and the people He brought into my life who helped me grow as a person. I’m especially thankful for my family, who have always supported me. Even when they don’t completely agree with my decisions, their love is unwavering, and I feel it every step of the way. I’m also grateful for my friends - old, new, and those I’ve reconnected with. Some of my former students have become friends I can now share my thoughts and feelings with, and I treasure these relationships.
Thinking about God’s faithfulness, even when I haven’t always been faithful, brings me to tears. He has been so good to me this year, and I can only hope to carry that faith and gratitude into the new year.
December 19, 2024: I’m back in Taiwan! I arrived this Monday and, as expected, it’s very cold because it’s winter. I forgot how the cold weather makes me feel so lazy, all I want to do is sleep, haha.
Anyway, the next day, I went out to buy some things I’ll need while I’m here. Yesterday, I went to the university to pick up my graduation regalia. I’m not completely sure if I will graduate yet, but I took the regalia as motivation to push myself to finish.
Right now, I’m juggling work responsibilities in the Philippines, but once I’m done with that, I’ll really focus on my research. My goal is to send it to my professor soon and make more progress. Fingers crossed!
December 1, 2024: November has come and gone, and here we are it’s already December 1. In just a month, 2024 will be over. Hayyyy, as I always say, time flies so fast.
Yet, despite the rush of time, I find myself still here, staring at the unfinished goal that’s been lingering on my to-do list: the first aim of my dissertation. I had hoped to finish it months ago, but life and work seemed to have a way of interrupting. Now, all I hope and pray is that before this year ends, I can fully submit the first aim for publication.
It’s a daunting task, and honestly, I need a little inspiration and a gentle push to get it done. Sometimes, the weight of expectations both from others and myself can feel overwhelming. But I’m reminding myself that progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.
So here’s to December, a month of tying loose ends, finding renewed focus, and maybe, just maybe, ticking off those lingering goals. If you’re in the same boat, let’s keep going. One step, one sentence, one prayer at a time. We’ve got this!
November 22, 2024: Hi, hello! How are you? It’s been almost two months since I last wrote here, sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been incredibly busy, to the point that even my weekends are packed with work.
It’s almost the end of the semester, and there’s so much to do - checking papers, attending meetings, talking to students, teaching, preparing teaching materials, the list feels endless. Honestly, I’m stressed, but at the same time, I’m enjoying what I do. It’s hard to explain; it’s like I’m juggling exhaustion and fulfillment at the same time.
One thing I’ve realized is how much I’m starting to understand my students. Their study habits, their capabilities, their behaviors, and even their attitudes, it’s all becoming clearer to me now. At first, I thought I’d never fully connect with them, especially the second years. But after a month of handling their classes, I feel like I’m getting to know them on a deeper level.
Hayyy, I can’t help but feel that their personal problems and struggles are slowly becoming my concerns too. It’s like I want to help them not just with academics but also with their mental and physical health. They’re not just students to me anymore; they’re people with stories, challenges, and dreams that I want to support in any way I can.
Lately, I’ve also been thinking about starting a separate blog to share my journey as a teacher and department chair of Nutrition and Dietetics. I want to write daily reflections and document the lessons I’m learning not just for myself but maybe to inspire or help others in similar roles.
For now, though, I’ll focus on getting through the semester. Here’s to hoping I find more time to breathe, reflect, and share.
Until next time! 🌻
September 30, 2024: Hello again! How have you been? As for me, I’m doing well. I’m gradually getting used to life here in the Philippines, though I do miss the convenience of Taiwan. To stay physically active, I registered at a gym again and aim to work out at least four times a week, plus I still play badminton twice a week.
I’ve also been keeping busy with religious activities. I joined the choir as part of my ministry and even started a care group with singles working at the university, which has been rewarding. So far, I’m enjoying it here, but with so many work-related responsibilities, my dissertation progress has been super slow. I really need to make a plan and stick to it if I want to graduate next year.
September 19, 2024: Hi hi, I'm backkkk! Yes, I’m back in the Philippines, back at AUP. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now, and so far, everything is just fine, at least for now. I felt a bit stressed this week because I needed to prepare the course offerings for the next semester. Thank God, I was able to finish it, just in time, I guess. I’m still in the adjustment period, but I’m really grateful for the people in the department, our college, and friends like Ivan, who are making this transition easier.
I’ve committed Tuesdays and Thursdays to playing badminton and Mondays and Wednesdays for workouts. It’s really helping me, and of course, it makes me happy, especially when I get to play my sport.
By the way, I’m staying in a good apartment, but it’s expensive, and my salary isn’t enough to cover the rent. So, I’m looking for another place to stay, hopefully, before the end of this month, I can move to a place that’s both nice and more affordable.
So far, those are the updates about my life!
September 4, 2024: It’s surreal to think that in just 4 days, I’ll be heading back to the Philippines for good. I can feel the excitement building up, but it’s mixed with a wave of emotion that I can’t ignore. Even now, there’s a part of me that isn’t quite ready to leave. But I know I have to. There’s work waiting for me, students counting on me, and a host of responsibilities I need to face. It’s time.
I’ll also be finishing my dissertation remotely, which is a huge goal for me. Once I graduate next year, I can focus even more on my career in the university. I know it’s going to be a busy period ahead, and maybe I won’t have the chance to travel abroad like I used to. But I’m still determined to hike at least once a month before this year ends—some balance amidst the busyness.
Leaving Taiwan is hard. The people I’ve met here and the experiences I’ve had have left a mark on me. It’s sad to say goodbye, but I guess this is part of the next chapter—stepping into new challenges and responsibilities. I’m praying that someone will join me in this journey through life, and that the road ahead brings peace and fulfillment.
August 15, 2024: Earlier today, I saw a woman at the bus station on my way to work. She looked so tired, carrying a stack of paper fans that I assume she needed to distribute to promote a business. It struck me how hard some locals work just to make ends meet, while at the same time, I’ve seen foreign students here in Taiwan, who receive government scholarships, spending their stipends on parties and bars. These students might argue that they deserve to enjoy their money because they work hard in their studies. But for me, it’s not just about deserving to spend money on whatever you want—it's about understanding whose money it is and being mindful of how it’s spent. I’m not judging these scholars, but simply reflecting on the disparity I’ve observed. Just an observation, not a judgment. It’s important to recognize that these students likely do work hard to secure their scholarships. Their success in earning those opportunities shouldn’t be dismissed. The core of the issue is about the source of the funds and how they are utilized. Scholarship money, especially when provided by a government, isn’t just a personal reward; it’s an investment in the student with the expectation that it will contribute to something greater, whether through academic achievements, contributions to the community, or cultural exchange. The question isn’t merely about whether they deserve to spend the money on leisure activities, but rather how they choose to use these resources in a way that reflects an understanding of their privilege and the sacrifices others might be making. Spending the money in ways that benefit their education, personal development, or even the local community could be seen as a more responsible approach. It’s also about empathy and awareness of the local context. When students see local people working hard just to get by, it might inspire them to think more critically about how their actions align with the values of the community that is indirectly supporting them.
August 10, 2024: The Health Professional Summit in South Korea, organized by SSD and NSD, concluded today. I realized that I was the only participant from Taiwan and the only one representing academia. All the other attendees were health workers, such as medical doctors, nurses, and health directors. This was my first time attending this event, which is held every five years. Although the presentations covered topics I am already familiar with due to my public health background, it was a valuable experience to meet new people.
I also noticed that I only knew a few people, such as Dr. Alfanoso, the health director of SSD, Dr. Ko, the health director of NSD, and of course, Dr. Yap, the health director of the Malaysia mission/union/conference (I'm not entirely sure). Additionally, I had another realization: I once aspired to become a health director, but now I think that role may not align with my interests. I believe I will continue working in academia while still promoting health through community outreach programs. For now, I will use every opportunity to learn more about public health, share this knowledge with others, and use it to help more people. Nevertheless, I am still praying for guidance on where the Lord will lead me.
August 8, 2024: I'm already in Jeju Island. It's hot here but tolerable because it's hotter and more humid in Taiwan, I think. Anyway, yesterday I was with Long, and we rented e-bikes to explore the area near our stay. We visited two waterfalls, and in the afternoon, we tried scuba diving. It was my first time. It was okay, but because I get seasick, I couldn't handle it for long. After 30 minutes, and having only reached 3 meters, I had to give up. The videos weren't that good, but at least it's something to remember. It was very unforgettable, though I'm not sure if I will try it again—maybe in the Philippines, because I prefer the beaches there.
Today is the first day of the health summit. Actually, it started last night with an opening ceremony, but I wasn't able to attend because I arrived late. In the afternoon, there was a tour. Since it was super hot, I didn't enjoy it much, and I wasn't prepared with the proper attire, so I was sweating a lot. Anyways, it is still fun to meet new people and visit new places here in Jeju.
I hope I can come back here with my family. I'm sure my parents will like this place, but maybe not in summer—perhaps during the autumn season.
August 4, 2024: Hi, how are you? Me? I'm good. Now it is the month of August. Time flies so fast! Last Friday, I received a formal letter from the AdCom stating that I am the new chair of our department. Yup, I am, but I still haven't fully accepted the reality. I don't want the responsibility, yet at the same time, I am excited to go back and meet new students and play badminton with good players at the university. Anyway, that's just one thing I wanted to share.
Another is that today was supposed to be my last badminton competition before going back to the Philippines. However, I opted not to play because my membership had expired. To renew it, I needed to have a reassessment, and the only option available was last Friday night. I really wanted to join and was excited when a group asked me to compete with them, but I didn't want to compromise my faith. I haven't been as faithful to God as I should be, and keeping the Sabbath and faithfully attending the care group is the least I can do to serve Him. So, to make a long story short, I did not join. Anyway, I’m sure there will be other chances to compete and play with good players, if not in Taiwan, then maybe when I go back to the Philippines.
By the way, on Tuesday, I am going to Korea to attend a health summit. Though it's just in Jeju Island, I am still excited. I will be meeting Long, one of our graduates, whom I haven't seen for so long. I hope and pray for safe travel and look forward to meeting health professionals.
July 29, 2024: Halu, I'm back again hehe. Fresh from the Philippines. It was an amazing trip. I don't remember the last time I went to Cebu, but all my previous travels there were just city tours, and I never did activities such as swimming at the beach. This time, I was able to do more than just a city tour, and all the activities were firsts for me.
I had the chance to see sea turtles (pawikan) and a lot of sardines. At first, I got scared, especially in the sardine area because it was dark and deep. Thanks to the guides who were very patient with me—one pushed me so I could go under the water and another took videos. It was scary at first but super nice. My eardrums almost didn't make it, though; I felt the pressure and so much pain.
In the afternoon, we went canyoneering. It was a little scary too and tiring, but super duper worth it. That was the first day tour. The second day was a city tour. I did not join the morning tour and opted to stay at the hotel for a longer sleep and to attend an online church service. In the afternoon, I joined the city tour, but it was just more of sightseeing, and I had already been to some of the places before.
On my last day there, we went to swim with the whale sharks—another first for me. At first, I got scared because they are so big, but later on, I was able to conquer my fear and enjoyed the rest of the time we spent there.
This was supposed to be a group tour, but because of the recent typhoon, my coworkers were not able to join. I thank God for being with me throughout the trip, from leaving the house during the typhoon to providing vehicles so I could go to the airport, for not having so much turbulence during the travel to Cebu, for protecting me in all the activities, and for my safe return to Taiwan.
I had so much fun. The group travel turned into a solo trip, but I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to another unforgettable and blessed solo trip. (read my new travel blog for complete details haha)
July 23, 2024: Hi, waiting for an update about my life? I have some. First, I already accepted the call even though I am not sure about it. I am still reluctant and now it's stressing me so much, affecting my eating and sleeping. Second, they agreed that I will go back on the first week of September because I need to finish my contract at MVC and process my ARC before leaving Taiwan. Third, I will go to Indonesia with Myrta. I'm not really sure about it either, but this could be the last travel with my friend.
And the rest about me are status quo.
July 17, 2024: Who would have thought that today I would receive an overwhelming call from my supervisor in the Philippines (Ma'am B)? Yesterday, I was just thinking about whether I should play badminton today or tomorrow, considering going to Indonesia next month with Myrta, and thinking about which country I could meet Beth in. And now, I need to decide if I will accept the offer to become the new chair of the Nutrition Department at my university in the Philippines. I am not prepared for this yet. I knew this time would come, but I thought it would be next year, not this year, not now, not this week. I need prayers, I need guidance; I don't know what to do besides praying and asking for prayers. Lord, please help me discern Your desire for me. I have only until Friday to decide...
July 16, 2024: I just realized that I mentioned Karlo yesterday, which I think is the first time mentioning his name here. Sorry, I haven't properly introduced him. Karlo is my childhood sweetheart, my elementary and high school batchmate, a friend, and my last boyfriend. Yup, that's Karlo. Even after our breakup in 2020 or maybe the end of 2019, we remained friends. We haven't communicated very often, but we never stopped communicating entirely.
Why did I mention him? Because right now, he is the one I am considering, the one I am waiting for. Although I mentioned that I might consider Win again after the Cambodia trip, I have realized and felt that he is not the one for me. He is a good person but not someone I can be with forever.
So, yeah, right now, it's Karlo that I would like to be with, and I'm praying about it. I could write a whole book about our love story that started when we were in 4th grade, hehe. Please pray with us as we pray for each other.
July 15, 2024: Hello, how are you? It's been a while since my last update because I keep forgetting to jot down my thoughts or share recent happenings. I apologize for that. Recently, I returned from Laos where I gave a health lecture at a Nutrition Forum organized by SSD and Lao Adventist Mission - Health Department. It was a valuable experience, and I'm grateful for the invitation from Dr. Lalaine, the health director of SSD. Now that I'm back in Taiwan, I've been feeling a bit lazy about my tasks, like writing my dissertation and going to work. I feel more fulfilled when I'm out there doing ministry, sharing health messages, and helping people through nutrition education. However, I know I need to refocus on my responsibilities here. On another note, I'm excited to be going to Korea next month! I hope Beth will be back so I have someone to travel with.
Also, regarding me and Karlo, I'm uncertain about what the future holds for us, but I entrust everything to God. He knows what is best for both of us, whether we end up together or not. For now, I want to remain faithful to him while praying and waiting for God's answer.
June 18, 2024: Hi, I have no update for more than a month so I will write long haha. I was so busy. Before I went to the Philippines, I had to prepare for a presentation. On May 31st, I presented the results of the first aim of my dissertation. It was a stressful week, but thank God I was able to share the first part of my research.
After that, I went back to my country with Beth to join a medical mission and tour her around the Philippines. It was another great experience with her and some friends who were my students. I really enjoyed the company and praise God for these wonderful people. We tried to give Beth a little taste of what the Philippines is like. I let her experience our public transportation, such as the jeepney and tricycle. Then, after a week, we came back to Taiwan. And just yesterday, she left 😢, she went back to the US.
I wanted to share that meeting her is one of the best things that happened to me while I've been in this country. I knew her before from church but didn't even bother to talk to her or say hi until one day, ta-da, we became friends. It was just the end of last year when we became friends, and slowly we became close. I would say "slowly" because I was kind of reluctant to be close to other people because of the traumas from my past friendships. However, it turned out to be a good, happy, and healthy friendship.
I thank God I had the courage to invite her on my Japan trip because that's where things started, though we went out several times and did activities with the young adults in church. I think I have mentioned some of these things already. Anyway, right now, I'm kind of lonely and sad because she's no longer in Taiwan. I wanted to think that she just went for a long vacation; I hope it's just like that. I miss her already and also Neko, our cat (stuffed toy) friend.
Nevertheless, I will still see her for sure. We have travel plans already, though we don't know when, but we have countries on our list to visit together. For now, I will keep sending her cat memes and photos. But yeah, I miss her already, and I know I will miss her more in the coming days. I just pray that God will be with her in her decisions in life, that she will go where her skills and talents will be used more to serve God and His people. And yeah, she is a very talented and down-to-earth person. May God bless her ministry in the future.
May 10, 2024: Hello again, it's been a while since I last wrote, not because I've been too busy, but simply because there wasn't much to share beyond God's continual goodness to me. However, yesterday brought up some feelings. I received a message from a friend that triggered a familiar sensation, much like the panic I used to feel when getting emails that brought on a previous episode of depression. Fortunately, this episode passed quickly, and I sincerely hope it doesn't develop into something more serious.
In addition, I felt overwhelmed after an almost two-hour conversation with my adviser. It was a valuable meeting because he shared crucial insights into research and analysis that will guide me in my work. I genuinely appreciate his efforts. But it dawned on me just how much more I have to consider for my research. Right now, I'm tackling the first aim, and challenges have already surfaced.
I'm praying I can finalize everything by May 17 because I need to submit my abstract to IHP for the conference on May 31. Please help me, God.
April 27, 2024: Together with the young adults of NLSDAC, we visited the Taoyuan SDA Church (English Fellowship). I was tasked with giving the sermon, something I hadn't done in quite a while. I thank God for sustaining me and filling me with the Holy Spirit to share His word with His people. I do regret oversharing a bit, especially about my family, which I hadn't intended. My prayer is that the health message stays with them, and that we don't neglect the right hand of the gospel in serving God, as it's so crucial for Christians, especially nowadays.
After the potluck in the afternoon, we stayed for a while to join their live streaming. Some of us played the ukulele while others sang, and I played the guitar. It was a new experience for all of us, and I felt incredibly blessed.
Afterward, we headed back to Taipei, where some of us had plans to go hunting for fireflies. We didn't see many, and it ended up being more of a mini-hike than anything else, which left our legs sore the next day. But overall, the Sabbath was amazing, and I'm grateful for these experiences and the young people I shared them with.
April 21, 2024: My friend Beth and I went to Alishan for a marathon. Originally, I was supposed to run in Taipei with Myrta, but when I heard about the Alishan marathon, I felt a stronger pull. I've been wanting to return to Alishan, a place that feels like home with its cold air and abundance of pine trees. Although I'm not particularly fond of running, the opportunity to visit Alishan again was irresistible.
We traveled last night and arrived in Chiayi earlier than expected. To pass the time while waiting for the shuttle to Alishan, we biked around the area, which was a refreshing start to our adventure. After completing the 5k in under an hour hehe, Beth and I explored the national park, savoring every step as we walked around. It felt so good to be back.
After that, we made our way back to Taipei. It was a super short escape from the city but just what I needed to relax and recharge.
April 14, 2024: I have nothing to say except that I can't focus on my dissertation again. I need to finish interpreting all the results of my analyses so that I can start writing my paper and submit it to a journal for publication. However, I'm so distracted that I can't maintain my focus, and I've lost my motivation once more. Please pray for me!
April 10, 2024: I’m back in Taipei after a trip to Cambodia. It was more than just a holiday; it was a chance to see friends and think about things. I went with Win, a friend I’ve talked about before. On this trip, I got to know him better. He’s a bit weird and does some strange things, but he’s also kind, mature, and a good person. I let him join my trip to understand him more. We had fun, met some of each other’s family and friends, and got along well.
Cambodia was amazing. I saw Angkor Wat, took a balloon ride in Siem Reap, and visited a very sad genocide museum in Phnom Penh. It’s a beautiful country with a lot of history. I’d love to go back, even though it’s not very safe. There was a bit of a problem on our last day in Siem Reap when Win said something about the sunset that bothered me. I love sunsets because they make me feel close to God, not just as something to see every day. I told Win how I felt, but he hasn’t answered yet. Despite this, being with Win in Cambodia made me think again about him. I’m watching how he is and praying to understand if he’s the person God wants me to be with forever.
That’s all for my Cambodia trip. It was really worth it, and I’ll tell you more about everything next time.
April 3, 2024: Josue left Taiwan already. I am going to miss him for sure.
March 31, 2024: I wanted to end this month with happiness, but I was upset by some news about other people's issues, even though I'm not directly involved. As a woman and a concerned citizen, it bothers me. To the person this concerns: It's shocking how you've manipulated a child into believing lies, making him resent his own mother. I've known you for almost 20 years and we've been best friends for over a decade. I know your capabilities, but I never expected you to do something like this. Clearly, your brother has been unfaithful and has physically abused Ate B, his wife. I understand the importance of family loyalty, but the children should not be involved. They're already suffering from your brother's actions. Lying to them only intensifies their pain. It's sad to see that, despite having experienced your brother's violence, you're not assisting but rather exacerbating the problem. Your family not doing anything and thinking your brother is the one who's hurt is really strange. Your brother needs help, you need help, and your family needs help, but you are not the victim here. I hope this message reaches you! - From your former best friend who will no longer be manipulated by you.(I want to post this in my IG)
March 25, 2024: Another week has passed, marking yet another unforgettable weekend spent with people I now consider friends. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be with friends who love adventure and God. This time, we were in Taichung, staying at Daniel's place—a person I hadn't mentioned before. Although not close to him, I used to see him playing the piano at church, never having spoken to him until he moved to Taichung for his new job at the conference. Our first conversation happened at a dinner with some young adults after distributing tracks, and that's how we started talking. Knowing he is still single, I thought of pairing him with another single friend of mine; they seemed like a good match. That's how it all began. I invited him to join us in leading the singing during the church services in Taichung, and again, to play for Beth when she led the song service a week later in Taipei. Just this weekend, we returned to Taichung, stayed at his place. I am thankful for his hospitality; he showed us around Taichung and even treated us to meals. Besides his kindness, I am also grateful to have gotten to know Peter, Beth, and Win better. The entire Sabbath was blessed, filled with meetings with young adults and youths from different churches. I hope we see them again. It was an uplifting and unforgettable experience, adding to the moments I thank God for, affirming that I am still alive. I pray that my spirit continues to thrive as I spread His love to others.
March 19, 2024: Hi, kamusta? Sorry, I was not able to write and update my diary every day. Just to let you know, I am happy right now. Whatever I am doing, whoever I hang out with, wherever I am, I am happy. Little by little, I am seeing my purpose. My only regret is why I only met these people now, why I only returned to the ministry now, why I only became active again now. I should have done it earlier. Anyway, at least I learned my lesson, and now I value more what I have, the people I have, the social support I have. Last Sabbath, the young adults again handled the services in the church. I'm so blessed to see them all participate, see them all render their talents. In the afternoon, we went to distribute tracks at Shilin and Jiantan stations; it was truly a blessed day. But something came to my mind: I should go back to the Philippines and do this kind of ministry, instead of doing it here in Taiwan. Then in the evening, we went for a dinner and a farewell for a friend. It's just sad that many people I know are leaving, but I hope and pray that wherever they go, may God be with them.
Sunday, I went out with Jansen and Josue for a farewell bonding, as Josue is also leaving soon. I am going to miss him for sure. Can't say more now because I still do not want to think about it.
By the way, I am sick right now. It started last night with a fever, and I think it's the flu. Hopefully, I am better tomorrow so I can continue with my responsibilities.
March 10, 2024: Today, some girls from the care group and I went out to a café. It was a place that our friend Susie had kept telling us to try because of the ambiance and their delicious desserts. We tried some and did not regret it; everything was really good. We spent the time together chatting about life, love, and many other things, all while enjoying our desserts. It was a very nice and meaningful time spent with them. I enjoyed the talks and the topics. Looking forward to more outings like this with them.
March 9, 2024: Had the chance to visit and fellowship with the members of Taichung International Fellowship. We led the Sabbath services through to the AY program. It was truly a blessed day spent with them. Additionally, I am grateful for the young adult members I was with. Though I may be the oldest among us, I am learning a lot from them that helps me grow spiritually. I hope the fire within me right now does not die and even though there may be discouragement along the way, I will not forget how God is so faithful and that I can always trust Him.
In the afternoon, during the AY program, we had activities that I really enjoyed. Each group was assigned a task based on a given situation. Our group was tasked with writing a story about someone who recently broke up with his girlfriend, became depressed, and had his faith challenged. To uplift the person, we needed to write a poem for him. Our group wrote a poem to encourage him. Here it is:
Poem by Win:
Heartbreak come and go
So does hi and lo
Hence why thou live in woe?
For ye always have hope
By the reading the book of Job
Poem I wrote:
In darker times, when hope seemed gloomy,
Feeling worthless, depress, and lonely.
Close to giving up, lost in life's sea,
But God, in His mercy, will not give up on thee.
Amidst trials unsee, in shadows of the night,
Here we are your friends, a beacon of light.
Though we knew not your fight,
We are praying that God's hands will be guiding you right.
Lastly, we want to tell something that maybe you already knew,
Before you are formed in the belly God knew you.
Before you came forth out of the womb, God sanctified you.
Do not be afraid because compared to many sparrows, in God, you have more value.
March 1, 2024: For almost a month, I haven't written anything about what's been happening in my life. Thank God, I'm well and alive. I praise God for everything; each day is indeed a testament to how good God is to me. Not every day is good, and there's no such thing as a perfect day, but every day is a blessing.
I recently celebrated the Lunar New Year, which was fantastic. First, we went back home to Baguio City, where we spent several days and attended my sister's wedding. It was wonderful. I thought I would be hiding from my relatives and friends the whole time, but when I saw them, I was so happy, and they were happy to see us too. It was really great to see them again.
After the wedding, I toured my friend Myrta around my hometown for two days, then we traveled to Cavite to spend the rest of the holidays there. It was fun and great to reconnect with friends. Although it was exhausting, I had a lot of fun.
Additionally, I have something to share regarding my past. After talking to different people that I lost connection with for many hours, now everything is clearer. Maybe someday I will share this thing, but right now, I want this emotion to subside. I just really hope that I can forgive myself.
Now, it's back to reality again, but I'm more recharged to face my responsibilities.
February 6, 2024: I'm super duper sleepy now. I couldn't sleep well last night because I kept hearing our youngest sister while she was working on the gifts for the principal sponsors of our other sister, who is getting married next week. With less than a week left, I'm feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness for my sister and her future husband. I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly during the wedding.
January 30, 2024: Exactly one week ago, I contracted COVID-19. Since day one, I have not stepped outside my house due to extreme weakness. Every time I stand up, I feel dizzy. The chilling cold, coupled with a high fever, has made me terribly sick. The gloomy weather only adds to the dismal mood. Currently, my symptoms have reduced to just a cough and a loss of taste and smell. Despite this improvement, I'm still testing positive for COVID-19, so I can't venture outside. The confinement is really taking a toll on my sanity. I'm yearning to go out, have fun, and enjoy life again.
January 27, 2024: Since I resumed attending the care group, I've found myself eagerly looking forward to Fridays and Saturdays. Previously, I used to anticipate Sabbaths mainly for the rest day, but now, it's different. My excitement stems from my desire to go to church and assist with the computer and sound system.
Unfortunately, I couldn't attend today because I'm still testing positive with COVID and struggling with breathing. It's incredibly frustrating. I detest being confined at home, participating only online. It makes me feel useless, and I find it hard to concentrate on the sermon.
I'm longing for the day when I test negative, so I can go out and mingle with others again. This has been the longest period I've ever spent confined inside our house.
January 25, 2024: I contracted COVID-19. Here's what I felt: I had a high fever (I couldn't determine the exact temperature since our thermometer is missing), but it was severe, evidenced by my shivering and chills. I also suffered from headaches, body aches, and extremely painful joints, feeling as if my body was being squeezed. Additionally, I lost my sense of smell and taste, had no appetite, and experienced diarrhea whenever I tried to eat, even just a little. These symptoms began on Monday night, and now, by Thursday, I'm only dealing with a sore throat, cough, and a slightly congested nose.
My sister exhibited similar symptoms before me; it seems I contracted the virus from her. Fortunately, our other sister and our grandmother, who is currently living with us, are fine. I'm hopeful and praying for a speedy recovery for my sister and l, and I thank God that nothing more serious has occurred.
January 18, 2024: It's been 10 days since I last wrote. I just want to say that I am always hungry. I eat plenty, but I still feel super hungry all the time.
January 8, 2024: Happy New Year all!
As I reflect on the rollercoaster that was 2023, filled with its dramas and challenges, I find solace in how it concluded—a rejuvenating travel experience on the last day of the year, leading into the start of 2024. This journey was more than a mere change of scenery; it was a spiritual revival, filling me with joy and recharging my spirit, readying me to face the new year. Despite the past year's trials and the haunting thoughts of disappearing, I step into 2024 with renewed hope and a prayer in my heart. I am grateful for God's unending goodness and pray for strength and happiness in the year ahead, leaving behind the shadows of despair and embracing a future filled with light and possibilities.
December 27, 2023: In light of the events occurring in my life, it's essential to shift my focus away from the immediate challenges and instead, direct my attention towards the greater journey that lies ahead — the pursuit of the kingdom of God. The experiences I'm currently undergoing, whether they bring deep pain or immense joy, are transient in nature. Despite the internal struggles I may face, I maintain a steadfast hope and prayer that God will grace me with increased endurance and love. This divine support will not only help me cope with my own pain but also enable me to continue spreading His love to others. I also seek strength to confront these challenges, always remembering that they are merely temporary phases in my life's journey.
December 21, 2023: I recently experienced a dream that left a profound impression on me. In this dream, I was in a room when suddenly my friend entered, appearing visibly cold and shivering. As I looked closer, I noticed her hands were encased in ice, prompting me to instinctively hug her for warmth. It was then that I discovered numerous bruises and wounds covering her back and shoulders. Shockingly, it seemed as if her shoulder bone had become disjointed and detached. While the meaning of this dream is unclear, it could possibly reflect my underlying anxiety. Presently, my plate isn't overly full, but there's still a substantial amount of preparation needed before the year concludes. My hope is to successfully accomplish the tasks ahead, aligning with what I believe to be God's plan for me.
December 14, 2023: Hmmmm, just grateful I am still alive, experiencing God's mercy and love.
December 4, 2023: Went to the Embassy of Japan today to apply for a visa. I didn't expect the process to be so smooth and easy. While I was confident that all the required documents were complete, I was pleasantly surprised by the efficiency of the system and the kindness of the person reviewing my documents. She even gave me extra time to complete the form, which was supposed to be filled out beforehand. I was able to fix everything on the spot because I did not anticipate such a quick process. I am thankful to God for the smooth application and the approval of my visa. I will receive my passport with the visa on Wednesday, and I am also grateful that the application is free. I'm excited already to travel to Japan. I hope and pray that this trip will be fun and a blessing.
November 30, 2023: As we bid farewell to the last day of this month, only one more month remains before we welcome the close of 2023 and usher in a new year. The swift passage of time never ceases to amaze me—it flies by, truly, and in the blink of an eye.
Reflecting on the events of November, I can't help but feel that it has been a blessed month for me. Despite the setback of an injury to my foot, preventing me from engaging in certain activities for weeks, I choose to express gratitude to God for everything. While the challenges were present, I am thankful for the lessons and experiences that have shaped this month into a meaningful part of my journey.
November 25, 2023: I attended the International Student Ambassadors event organized by Study in Taiwan, where I had the opportunity to share my personal experiences as a student. Alongside fellow student ambassadors and special guests, we each had three minutes to convey our brief experiences and highlight why students should consider Taiwan, especially for Mandarin language learning and personal growth.
In the days leading up to the event, we were provided with guide questions to prepare our responses. Despite our earlier preparation, when my turn arrived, I decided to share my genuine thoughts and feelings. I am grateful that I followed my instincts because afterward, several individuals approached me to express how my heartfelt sharing had inspired them. I look forward to continuing to inspire more young people.
November 22, 2023: I've been homebound for the past four days, though I did step out briefly on Sunday to pick up essentials. On Monday, I went to a computer shop in Shilin to search for a cable to connect my laptop to the monitor, however they don't have. So yesterday, I had to borrow a cable from school, but these outings were all very brief, and I returned home promptly each time. Thankful that our dad is here to drive me, the cold weather and my aversion to walking too much are the main reasons for my quick trips.
Waking up today, I found that the pain in my injured foot persists. Uncertain about what more I can do to alleviate it, I'm also grappling with daily discomfort in my right kidney. It's becoming a challenging situation, and I'm unsure of the next steps to take.
November 20, 2023: I had two dreams today. I would describe the first one as not so pleasant, as it brought back the emotional discomfort I've experienced before involving someone else, both preceding and following our trip outside the country. It stirred up those feelings again as I dreamt about preparing for a trip outside the country with the same person. In the dream, I was running late and almost missed the plane. She became upset and refused to talk to me, ignoring my calls. Then, I woke up, drank water, and tried to sleep again. For my second dream, I was with another person whom I hope to travel with soon. In that dream, I'm not sure if we were traveling, but it was a fun and good experience. I genuinely hope that this dream will come true, and when we travel next month, if she is able to join me, I hope and pray we will enjoy each other's company. Actually, I like traveling with family and/or friends and sometimes I prefer to travel alone, but if I find myself with a travel companion, I hope for someone who is not overly critical, not moody, and possesses the ability to adapt to different situations rather than complaining incessantly.
November 19, 2023: One week has passed since I got injured. I don't understand why I feel more pain now than in the first days of the injury. I'm unsure if what I'm doing to myself is right or if I'm causing more problems for my foot. The good thing is, I can walk better, but I experience more pain on the upper part of my foot towards the leg.
I have decided not to strain my foot further, but the desire to recover quickly is overwhelming. I'm so desperate to walk normally and play badminton again. Even if I won't be able to join the upcoming competition, I just want to play again and lead a more productive life. This situation has left me feeling sad and desperate.
Even if my day wasn't that good and productive because of the pain not only on the injured foot but both now of my foot are hurting, I got a new water bottle from my sister. I'm so happy with their gift.
November 14, 2023: I have already decided not to participate in the competition next month. Although I felt fine this morning and initially considered trying to recover quickly to resume training and compete, the pain returned after a short walk. My friends advised against proceeding with my plan to return to the court soon, and they are right. It's important for me to prioritize full recovery now, rather than risking a more severe injury and regretting it later when I can no longer play. Despite the frustration, I acknowledge that it's my mistake for forgetting my badminton shoes, and I must bear the consequences.
November 13, 2023: I injured my left foot yesterday while playing badminton. Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing the proper shoes, and as a result, I ended up twisting my ankle. Initially, I thought it was just a minor bruise, but today, after visiting the doctor, they performed a sonogram to assess the damage. To my dismay, the scan revealed inflammation and torn ligaments inside.
With an upcoming competition just a month away, I was eagerly preparing for it. However, the doctor delivered the disheartening news that I'll need to rest for six weeks, meaning I may not be able to compete anymore. The doctor's prognosis is proving to be more emotionally painful than the physical injury itself.
November 11, 2023: We had a communion service at church today—a solemn moment to commemorate God's goodness through the life of Jesus Christ and reflect on His sacrifice for our sins. I found myself struggling to contain my emotions during the service because I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I simply wanted to thank and praise God for allowing me to continue experiencing His grace and mercy every day.
A few months ago, I faced a challenging period where I felt utterly useless and worthless. Although I have not openly shared this struggle, I am grateful to God for not abandoning me. He has shown me that I have a purpose to fulfill. During that time, my sisters, friends like Jansen, the care group, and the young adults at church unintentionally played a crucial role in supporting me, even though they may not have been aware of the extent of my struggles.
Their presence and the sense of community, combined with my decision to engage in activities like attending care group meetings and being active in the young adults' group at church, as well as returning to my hobbies like playing badminton, played a vital role in helping me find my way back to the right track. I am thankful for the positive influences in my life that, in their own way, contributed to my journey of healing and rediscovery.
November 10, 2023: Two days in Taichung felt like time slowed down. I am truly grateful to Jennifer and her family for inviting us to play badminton with them and stay at their place. On the first day, we engaged in badminton, providing a unique experience of playing with older yet incredibly strong and skilled players. Although I didn't secure many victories, the experience of playing with them was undeniably rewarding.
On the second day, Jennifer took us to a stunning natural location where we captured many beautiful photos. Later, we indulged in some shopping (hehe). I thank God that we crossed paths and became friends with Jennifer, a super sweet, kind, and responsible young lady.
November 6, 2023: Yesterday, my badminton friends and I went cycling. We had planned this outing before Mayuri's return to the US. Despite the scorching sun, it turned out to be a fantastic day. Our main goal was to find some beautiful flowers, and we stumbled upon a stunning sunflower field. It truly was a wonderful day, filled with enjoyable cycling, delicious food, and great company.
I remember, just two months ago, I was feeling extremely depressed and didn't know what to do but cry. I felt lost and didn't know who to turn to, even contemplating ending my life. But now, I'm here, laughing, enjoying the company of different people, and praising God for everything. God is truly amazing. This experience reminded me of the Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: For everything, there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Life can change so dramatically, and this journey from darkness to joy is a testament to the ever-shifting seasons of life.
November 4, 2023: After the potluck today, a group of young adults from New Life Church and I embarked on a short hike along the renowned trail within our campus, NYCU-Yangming Campus. Initially, my plan was just to stroll by the river, but the idea of witnessing the sunset from the summit intrigued me. So, I decided to turn it into a hike and invited some of the young adults to join me. The hike turned out to be quite enjoyable, albeit relatively short. However, the sunset view from the top was nothing short of amazing. Afterward, we wrapped up our day with a delightful dinner at a vegetarian burger restaurant. It was, without a doubt, a Happy Sabbath for me.
October 29, 2023: It's been more than a week since my last update here, and I have so much to share. Last Saturday night, I took on my very first trail marathon, an incredibly challenging run. At first, the tough terrain made me contemplate giving up, but I decided to push through. Despite not meeting my initial goal of finishing in 2 hours, I completed the marathon in 4 hours and 7 minutes. I still felt a great sense of achievement in reaching the finish line.
The following days were quite tough as I experienced post-race soreness and decided to refrain from any strenuous physical activity. Then, on Thursday, I ventured into the world of acupuncture for the first time. It was a fascinating experience, and although I didn't notice immediate changes in my body, I'm intrigued by the principles of Chinese medicine. I'll need to undergo six sessions before I can determine its effectiveness.
Yesterday evening, we gathered for a movie night, and we watched the Sun Moon movie, which I found quite relatable. I don't have much to say about it, but I thoroughly enjoyed the company and the film.
October 19, 2023: We went to pick up our race packets for the Saturday night marathon. This is my first time participating in a night trail marathon, and I'm not quite sure how I'll feel, but I'm definitely filled with excitement. I am hoping that it will not rain on the day or the day before so the trail will not be slippery. Also, I hope that we can avoid injuries and complete the race on time. Moreover, I'm looking forward to experiencing the breathtaking night view from the top.
October 16, 2023: I choose to spread only good and happy vibes. Personally, I'm feeling great. These past few days have been so busy, not from work or studies, but from extracurricular activities. I'm enjoying meeting and playing with various sports enthusiasts, learning from them, and forming friendships.
The activities I'm engaged in, such as biking, hiking, and badminton, make me feel youthful. I know that at this age, I should be more focused on my future and take life more seriously. However, I feel like a teenager again, trying to balance everything while thoroughly enjoying different activities. I genuinely enjoy it, thanks to these wonderful people who inspire and motivate me in various aspects of life.
I'm also thankful to God for allowing me to know and meet like-minded people from church who share the same passions. They inspire and encourage me on this fulfilling journey.
October 10, 2023: I'm writing now to recount yesterday's adventure as I was quite exhausted after our mini hike at Teapot Mountain. Comparatively, the weather yesterday wasn't favorable. The night before our hike, I fervently prayed to God for good weather, and my prayers were answered. Though the summit was shrouded in fog, obstructing the view, we were fortunate that it didn't rain during our hike—only later on our way to Jiufen and back to Taipei. Hiking with friends made the experience even better, and I was especially grateful for Wo's presence, as he was familiar with the route and knew where we could find vegetarian meals. Yesterday's hike left me feeling reenergized and appreciative.
October 5, 2023: After our badminton session was cancelled today, I thought of not going to the university and decided to meet up with Jade in Shilin for dinner instead. However, I'm glad I still went, as it led to a delightful encounter with my friend Sakshi and some other classmates whom I hadn't seen in a while. We had a great time chatting and catching up on each other's life updates and research progress. Later, I met up with Jade for dinner, and we had a wonderful conversation. While waiting for the metro, a girl approached me—she is a Filipina-Taiwanese and had overheard Jade and me speaking in Tagalog. She asked where I am from, and it was a pleasant surprise to meet another Filipina in Taiwan. I look forward to meeting her again soon.
Today made me realize that many people I encountered at school seemed stressed, likely due to the pressures of research and academic commitments. I understand that stress is a common part of life, especially in academia, but I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly and well for them in both their academic and personal lives. My thoughts and prayers are also with Jansen for a speedy recovery and for comfort to reach Em during this time.
October 2, 2023: Before heading to the badminton hall for some games, I had the chance to meet Ate Nian, who had recently arrived in Taiwan. She had seen my vlog about studying in Taiwan, and we had been chatting about her upcoming move here. It was great to finally meet her in person. Even though we hadn't met before, our conversation flowed smoothly and it was a pleasant encounter. We delved into various meaningful topics and shared our thoughts. Interestingly, Ate Nian was the second person to mention that they discovered studying in Taiwan through my vlogs. It warmed my heart to know that my vlogs could be helpful in that way. I explained to her that I create vlogs as a way to combat my feelings of loneliness. It's remarkable how our difficult moments can end up being a source of inspiration or comfort for others.
After this delightful encounter, I headed to the badminton hall for some gameplay. There, I met even more players, and we engaged in some friendly matches. It was a fantastic opportunity to connect with fellow badminton enthusiasts, and I'm hopeful that these interactions will pave the way for potential friendships in the future. The camaraderie and shared passion for the sport made the entire experience even more enjoyable.
October 1, 2023: Had a really productive kick-off to October! Today, several young adults from our church planned a biking trip. The weather got iffy around 1pm, but we decided to brave it out, heading from Shilin to Tamsui by the riverside. Despite the rain, we persisted, starting in Shilin with a light drizzle. Some parts were dry, but the rain caught up as we pedaled towards Tamsui. When we finally reached Tamsui, it was pouring hard, but luckily we made it. We opted for dinner at Kooks and, truth be told, the ride to Tamsui was enough for me. Biking back to Shilin felt like a bit much, but I'm looking forward to a great night's sleep!
September 30, 2023: It felt wonderful to conclude the month on a Sabbath day. Throughout this month, a whirlwind of events swept by, leaving me feeling like time flew by swiftly, yet I sensed the accomplishment of numerous things even during moments of seemingly doing nothing. In stark contrast to the previous month, where I battled with sadness, depression, and loneliness, this month was a complete turnaround.
I had the pleasure of meeting many incredible individuals, forging unexpected friendships, and enjoying the company of people I never thought I'd connect with. These newfound connections brought a sense of joy and fulfillment that brightened my days. I am immensely thankful to God for granting me such a fulfilling month, one where blessings seemed to overflow.
As I reflect on this period, I hope for the constancy of this positive energy, even though I understand that life is ever-changing and unpredictable. I offer my prayers for continuous guidance from above, trusting that God will remain by my side, providing the wisdom to navigate through life's twists and turns in alignment with His divine will.
September 29, 2023: I have no regrets for saying 'yes' to an invitation. Last night, I struggled to sleep until 2am due to the pain from my menstrual cycle, making me contemplate sending a message apologizing and canceling my plans. I'm relieved that I chose not to send that message. Returning to Houtong proved to be an entirely unique experience. Not only did we encounter more than 30 cats, but I also had the opportunity to fly my drone by the river and spend time with two remarkable women, who are avid animal lovers like me - one adores cats, while the other, like myself, is a dog enthusiast. It was a truly enriching experience.
Following our visit to the cat village, we ventured to a cat and dog cafe. Today was an immersive encounter with furry friends; it felt like a rejuvenating experience, akin to going on a satisfying yet exhausting hike. Later, we headed to a care group for Bible study, an event I eagerly anticipate and never want to miss, held every Friday. Meeting different people almost every week is refreshing. Though today was draining, my heart is brimming with joy.
September 26, 2023: Had so much fun tonight with friends as we celebrated Wo's birthday. Actually, his birthday is tomorrow, but I thought of celebrating it tonight so we could be with Em. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to join us due to an unavoidable circumstance. I miss hanging out with my friends, even though I always see Lila and Josue because I work part-time at the same company where Lila is my boss and I'm always with Josue. I was also with Jansen almost every day for the past two weeks, but I feel like I miss hanging out with them.
Moreover, I haven't seen Daniela for a long time and only saw Wo last week; I miss them too. Though we weren't complete tonight, I'm glad for the short catch-up, chatting, laughing, and celebrating Wo's birthday in advance. It was a great night.
Another is that today was supposed to be my last badminton competition before going back to the Philippines. However, I opted not to play because my membership had expired. To renew it, I needed to have a reassessment, and the only option available was last Friday night. I really wanted to join and was excited when a group asked me to compete with them, but I didn't want to compromise my faith. I haven't been as faithful to God as I should be, and keeping the Sabbath and faithfully attending the care group is the least I can do to serve Him. So, to make a long story short, I did not join. Anyway, I’m sure there will be other chances to compete and play with good players, if not in Taiwan, then maybe when I go back to the Philippines. 
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